Tears are not weakness

 The definition of the word Resilient is, "(of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions."

The gym that I attend and occasionally coach at hosted a women's event recently that was meant to empower women and help them embrace the bad ass within each of us. It was a humbling event, in all honesty. I was surrounded by women that I usually see on a regular basis but today, we weren't there to work out. We were there to learn about ourselves and grow into more confident people. There were three speakers- Tanya, Krista, and Anastasia. 

Tanya helped us to define a woman. Strong, resilient, caring, planners, dedicated, educated, mad hatter, flexible- these were just some of the words that were given to describe what and who each woman is. Overachiever might have been mentioned too but...it fits 😋

Krista is one of my favorite people to listen to. She is such a loving and caring person and she's 100% invested in every person she talks to. She taught us today that it's okay to say no and to take time for yourself; in fact, it's essential to take time for yourself to set your mind. One thing that she said she does and she wanted to help us do the same was she will pause and say to herself, "I'm worthy." I want to take that tool that she uses for herself, although I will tweak and tailor it for myself, I'm resilient. 

The guest speaker was one of my favorite parts of the day. She was funny and honest. She reminded us it's important to set boundaries, and enforce them. It's okay for us to take time for ourselves. We need to realistically deal with stress levels, find the threshold, and prepare to flourish. We are in the dark right now, but soon the light will shine and we will flourish.

At the end of the day, each woman walked down the gauntlet, if you will. Powerful women, who stood on either side as each woman walked down, whispered words in her ears. I was crying before it was even my turn. I didn't want to walk down the line. I didn't want to be put on the spot. I didn't know some of these women or I had just met them that day. I didn't know what they were like; how could I be expected to say something nice about them? I'm so glad that I participated though.

Beautiful, honest, deserving of all the nice things said to me, help people to be themselves, empowering, inspiring, strong...these were just some of the words that were said in my ear. These are the ones that stuck with me. The one that has resonated with me the most is I help people to be themselves. I don't know if that's true but I like to think it is.

I think the point of this post is that I'm feeling very empowered from this event. Which is great because I've not been feeling very empowered as of late. Work hasn't been great and I haven't been doing the things I enjoy, like coaching swimmers or running or anything that helps me relax. So going to this event and participating in the walk restored some of what I'm missing. It helped me to remember that I am enough, I am worthy and I am resilient. 

Something Different

So I'm back sooner than last time! Hooray! We're kind of getting there. Things are different. For awhile there, I lost my motivation and wasn't working out at all. I have an issue with sticking with a plan for longer than a week. I didn't stick with Insanity. I'm not going to give it up totally but I am for now to focus on other things. Part of the problem with Insanity is that you have to be in shape before you even start it. There's so much cardio and I wasn't keeping up. So I'm going to try something else for a bit and then go back to Insanity. See how that works out for me.

I keep saying that I want to do this or I want to do that. I'm tired of saying it. I need to stop saying and start doing. I said for a long time I wanted to go back to school for my Master's degree. Well I finally stopped saying it and I started one! I applied, did the FAFSA, agonized if I could afford it and then last week, I started. So far so good! I also keep saying I want to get better. It's very vague but it encompasses a lot. I want to get better at keeping house and I want to get better about exercising/losing weight. I want to be consistent. I want to make the lists and cross things off as I do them, not just tear down the list so that it didn't exist in the first place.

I started school, now I'm going to focus on my exercise and losing weight. I'm going to post pictures each week. I'm going to hold myself accountable. And even if no one reads this, which I suspect they don't, I am still putting it out there so I can't just make up an excuse. I have to do something different. I'm part of accountability exercise groups on FB, I still don't do them. I can't be accountable to anybody else until I'm accountable to myself first and that's the most important part.

As of July 21, I weigh 168 lbs. Though I got on the scale last week, I'm full of liquid and food right now so I would not get an accurate weight at this moment. 168 is not the most I've ever weighed but it's close and I don't like it. I'm trying to lose 25- 30 lbs. I want to be fit.

Until next time,

Back

Side, no shirt

Front, no shirt

Front, with shirt

Side, with shirt

Remember when...

So at the end of my last post, I said I would update soon although I was really busy so we would see. Fast forward almost a YEAR later and I'm just now getting to my second post. I thought about this thing I had started a few times, but mostly I forgot.  And when I did think about it, I wasn't sure how to get back to it because I couldn't remember how I had set it up in the first place.  I only recently figured it out because I started exploring apps (mainly Google+) on my phone that I haven't given much thought and those apps have a corresponding website.  Ta-Da!

The point of the blog was accountability, which ended up not working.  Not even a little bit. I didn't really train and so I did a MARATHON and my longest run had been 6 miles and it had occurred several weeks before the actual race. So I was a bit sore for a few days afterwards.  I've decided to do that same race again this year as a redemption race. And I'm really going to do it! I promise! I've made a commitment to get and be healthier and in better shape. It's a hard change but so far, I'm doing okay. I'm signed up at a different gym that I can go to literally whenever. And I have been going. It's helpful (and accountable) that my sister joined the same gym. So we can go together or we can hold the other accountable (did you go today?).  Additionally, I'm doing Insanity. You know, the crazy workout program that you do 6 days a week with one rest day. Coupled with my work schedule and I decided to add some school into the mix, plus many of the things I mentioned in my last post makes for a pretty hectic schedule.

But I do plan on keeping with it.
Until next time...

So this is my first blog post EVER.  I have friends that have blogs and I enjoy reading them.  I never thought that it was something I could do myself just because I didn't think I had anything to say that someone else would want to read.  I'm not funny.  My friends…they're funny.  The way they twist words and phrases is enviable.  But then I started thinking about it again and I'm about to start a journey.  I've signed up to run the Philadelphia Marathon in November.  It will be my first marathon.  I've run two half marathons and the Broad Street Run which is 10 miles.  There have been some 5k's here and there but this will be my biggest undertaking.  So I'm trying to get started.

The problem is, as with everyone, I'm already really busy.  I work 45+ hours a week, plus I have to try to get to the gym three times a week, plus I'll be adding a tough running schedule to the mix and I really want to do Yoga at least once a week to keep everything balanced.  And that's not including the different functions, meetings, and events that I'm committed to.  I know that women with kids, husbands, jobs, school, etc. are making things work and accomplishing it all.  I want to know "How"?!<--- for some reason I don't remember if this is the proper way to do that…sad.

First things first.  I have to set a routine.  So this week I'm trying to establish a routine that I feel I can follow.  So far, I've been to the gym twice and it's only Tuesday…Yay!  But the gym is tricky too because not only do I have to run to build endurance, but I also have to strength train and I know next to nothing about all of these things.  There's a lot to figure out.  That's why I thought a blog might be a good way to not only keep myself on track, but also to help someone else or at the very least to give all the pros a good laugh at my attempts.

Next step in the process is going to be finding a running plan I can use and keep up with.  Well, let's be honest, the problem is going to be actually going out and running.  I've said for a long time that I was going to do that and with my other races, I just went with the flow so to speak.  Also known as I really didn't train and I just did the races.  I did okay considering but this time I want to do better than okay so I really, really, really have to commit.  And that's all I have right now.  I think I'll try to update each week on my progress.  As mentioned before, I'm pretty busy.

Until next time...